


One of Those Baby-Sling-Contraptions

by pancake_surprise



Series: It Takes a Village [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, The Incredible Hulk (2008), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Avengers Family, Everybody Lives, Families of Choice, Family, Fluff, Gen, Kid Loki (Marvel), M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Protective Team, Protective Thor (Marvel), Protective Tony Stark, Slice of Life, Team as Family, baby Loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 09:11:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15240111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pancake_surprise/pseuds/pancake_surprise
Summary: Baby Loki, in a baby sling, disrupting a Very Important Meeting(TM). Cue a game of musical baby and sticking it to the man.





	One of Those Baby-Sling-Contraptions

In the wake of the war with Thanos, the one which had seen the loss of half of the entire universe before its swift return due to the action of Earth’s mightiest heroes, the Accords had been shredded. The UN could no longer deny that without the Avengers, there would be nothing to protect the world from the great wide universe it had unwittingly been introduced to. They, the Avengers et al, and the UN were frequently engaged in intensive talks that more often than not dissolved into screaming matches. Secretary Ross of the United States, was still wary to give the Avengers any more of the reigns than they’d had under the Accords and, frankly, they weren’t having it.

“Woah Woah Woah, you want to WHAT?” Tony asked.

“Come on Stark, he’s a liability. You really expect us to continue allowing Bruce Banner and the Hulk to run around unchecked? I have no idea where you managed to hide him away last time but it won’t happen again."

The entire room erupted.

“This is ridiculous,” said Sam.

“Liability my ass,” Clint said.

“No,” Natasha added. “Absolutely not.”

Across from Tony, Bruce tried not to visibly sink into his chair. He wanted to disappear entirely but he had to admit, even this was better than the alternative. It had been one of the team’s stipulations that Ross never set foot on the compound while Bruce was living there and he was grateful that this conversation was happening via one of Ross’s lackeys and not the man himself.

“No way in hell.” Tony fixed the general Ross had sent on his behalf with a look that could have easily smote lesser men. “Listen, I’ve given you the terms we agreed on as a team. You can sign them or you can sign them.” Around the table everyone nodded along. The entire crew was in attendance: Rhodey, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Sam, Wanda, Bucky, Peter, Scott, Hope, and Steve. So many new faces. Many of them Bruce hadn’t spoken to for longer than a quick introduction but despite having just met them, they too were fighting for him. It was a lot to take in.

Outside of the conference room, there was a loud crash and then the final member of their team, Thor, was barrelling into the room as well. Bruce all but beamed at the sight of Thor fumbling around, trying to find a seat among them, all with a tiny black-haired baby strapped to his chest in one of those baby-sling-contraptions. “Sorry. Sorry,” Thor mumbled before finally he gave up on finding an open space and instead dragged a chair over from the wall and plopped down next to Bruce. “What did I miss?” he asked.

The general opened his mouth to speak but before he could Tony was answering for him. “They’re trying to sneak a stipulation in here that would allow them to lock Bruce up anytime they felt he,” Tony made air quotes with his hands, “poses a threat to himself or others or needs a check-in.”

Thor face’s face scrunched up. “A check-in?”

“Presumably to run experiments on me,” Bruce said quietly.

In an instant, Thor’s look went from confused to thunderous. “Experiments?” he all but spat.

The general swallowed. “Yes, well,” he began. He seemed to be realizing for the first time that he was in fact in a small room with some of the strongest people in the universe and none of them were taking kindly to the possibility of their friend and teammate being locked away without cause.

It was a minute change, almost imperceptible, but Bruce could feel the air shift and become slightly charged in the room. Gently he rested a hand on Thor's arm. While it would be deeply satisfying to see one of Ross's lackeys be smacked by lightning right in front of them, it probably wasn't the best move when they were trying to prove that the team didn't need bureaucratic leashes. 

The general continued rambling on but Bruce’s attention was torn away from the man as the baby pressed to Thor’s chest began making the telltale sounds that signaled a full-blown baby meltdown was on the horizon. As Loki let out the first small wail, the general abruptly stopped his rambling and instead zeroed on the child strapped to Thor’s chest. Bruce suppressed a laugh. Had the idiot really not noticed there was a baby in the room until Loki began to cry?

“Is that... a baby?”

Yep. Hadn’t noticed.

Thor shot the general an incredulous look mirrored by everyone else in the room.

“I thought that was obvious. Is it Midgardian culture to announce the presence of a baby before entering a room?”

The general clearly didn’t know what to say to that and, in his silence, the entire table cracked up laughing.

“Is this really a place for a baby,” he barked once he’d regained a small semblance of composure. “Get that kid out of here.”

Thor was clearly affronted and more than ready to just blast the man out of the compound entirely. Afterall, the man just had insulted the majority of his family.

“Come on, Point Break, let’s get Loki down to the babysitter," Tony said. Thor was clearly reluctant to follow, but with a gentle prod from Bruce, he finally stood and exited with Tony.

Bruce hid his grin in his hand while watching the two of the shuffle out of the room. Barely five minutes passed before Thor was back, Tony following behind. And smack-dab in the center of Tony’s chest was Loki, baby-sling and all. Thor took his seat next to Bruce, shooting him a wide grin.

The general was unamused.

“Stark.”

“Yes?” Tony asked, voice dripping with false innocence.

“I thought we agreed this was no place for a baby.”

“A baby?” Tony looked down at the infant on his chest and gasped. “Huh, I guess there is a baby. Well, come on, continue. We haven't got all day.”

Around the room, several of the Avengers were attempting to contain their snickering. Sam was clearly on the edge of losing it with Scott not far behind.

“Stark, get that baby out of here.”

Tony threw his hands up into the air and sighed. “All these interruptions, general, I’m starting to think you don’t actually want to get anything done.” But Tony stood nonetheless.

“Pete, walk with me.”

Peter practically bounded out of his chair and after Tony.  “You got it Mr. Stark.”

In their absence, the general sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face, clearly, he was unwilling to continue the meeting in any capacity without Tony there. Within minutes, Tony once again returned, and to no one’s surprise, the baby-sling and baby had simply been relocated to Peter’s chest.

The general’s eyes were practically bugging out of his head now. Bruce wasn’t sure he should find so much enjoyment in watched his team play the equivalent of musical-baby with his son, but he had to admit, it was absolutely hilarious.

“Since you clearly have no desire to take this seriously, I’ll be going,” the general said.

Tony turned toward him. “Like I said. We’ve given you our terms. You can sign them or you can sign them.”

Ross’s lackey quickly gathered himself together before storming from the room. When the door slammed shut behind him, Tony threw his fists up in the air in victory.

“Finally!” He yelled. “I thought he’d never leave.” He turned toward the baby still carefully strapped to Peter’s chest. “And, you!” Tony pulled Loki gently from the sling. “You did perfect, baby! The crying? Timed perfectly. Excellent performance!”

Bruce smiled and leaned ever so slightly against Thor while the rest of the team slowly filed out of the room. When everyone else had gone, Tony’s expression momentarily went serious as he carefully tucked Loki into the crook of his neck and spoke again, far softer this time.

“Don’t worry, little one. No one will hurt either of your parents while I’m here.”

**Author's Note:**

> Friends, I need help... does baby loki call thor/bruce some variation of dad? Or does he call them thor/bruce? Do thor and bruce refer to their infant as a son?


End file.
